Sleep

I am having trouble sleeping again. I have been up since 3:30 a.m.. I kept waking up trying to figure out how to decorate the card box for the gift table. I figured while I was up I may as well download google Earth. Why not right? I want to see my house from space. Anyway. I went to a Nephrologist (kidney Dr.) a couple days ago. I am having blood pressure issues. We (my internist and I) can't seem to keep it down. So she told me to go see the nephrologist. I went. I sat in the waiting room for an hour and fifteen minutes and then another 15 minutes in the back office. Finally the Doctor came. He asked me about a million questions. He asked about my childhood diseases, when I first had an asthma attack, how much did I weigh at the time, when did I start putting on all my weight. He asked about my personal relationship history. My family history. When did I start getting up at 3:30 in the morning to pee. He has the most thorough medical history on me. After peeing in a cup, stepping on two different weight scales, and getting "looked at", and taking some written tests, I walked out of the office at about 1 p.m. My appointment was at 10 am, and I got there 15 minutes early for paperwork that they had sent to me ahead of time and I already had filled out. I walked out of the office with some advice to find a good psychologist. He deemed that my issues weren't my weight or my blood pressure. But something much deeper in my psyche. He said that I had very strong symptoms of suffering from ADHD, and I could possibly be bi-polar as well. He said that a lot of people who suffer from these two things tend to self medicate by abusing things. Things like drugs, alcohol, spending sprees, and over eating. The written tests that I mentioned earlier were to determine if I had any of the classic symptoms. He feels that if we treat my ADHD, the rest of my life will start falling into place, and I won't need to medicate or cope by eating. It was such a relief to hear this. I had suspected all along that I had ADHD. My mom calls me her ADD kid. But I never mentioned it to any of my Doctors, and it wasn't until I went to a kidney doctor who just asked a million questions, that my feelings and thoughts were confirmed. I feel very hopeful finally that things might become normal for me. When I get the help I need, life might not be so difficult. I might finally be able to do more than one thing at any time and be able to be in a room with a TV on and still pay attention to what is going on around me. I won't hyperfocus any more, and I won't get so frustrated and angry when more than one problem presents itself at the same time. I might actually sleep again without a billion thoughts racing around in my head at all times. And I might, just might, finally be able to enjoy life. I could take joy in planning my wedding instead of feeling so overwhelmed with it. My future sure seems bright.